Incredible! This Woman is a Prison Abolitionist... for Hot People!
Justice for Hot People (JHP) advocates on behalf of attractive people sentenced to jail time.
Irrational Takes is a satirical column that highlights the nonsense and bullshit in current events.
Photo Illustration by Ally Hart
BOSTON — Jessica DeMann didn’t always consider herself an activist. That all changed in March, however, when she watched “Conversations with a Killer: The Ted Bundy Tapes” and “Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil and Vile” on Netflix, and began her transformation from staunch law-and-order supporter to full-on prison abolitionist—for hot people.
“I didn’t really think about people in prison before I watched the show,” said DeMann, staring fixedly at a poster of Zac Efron in his role as Ted Bundy which hangs prominently on her wall. “Just seeing Ted’s beautiful face behind bars made me realize how many hot people must be incarcerated right now, and I knew I needed to take action.”
In May, DeMann started the organization Justice for Hot People (JHP), which advocates on behalf of attractive people who have been sentenced to jail time. When asked to elaborate on the group’s mission statement, which reads “No prison for hotties!!” DeMann replied, “It’s simple. People who conform to societal beauty standards should not be behind bars. Period.”
Conversations around prison and police abolition have entered the mainstream in recent months as protests against racial injustice continue nationwide. DeMann, who identifies as a “prison abolitionist for the conventionally attractive,” says she counts among her social justice heroes Kim Kardashian and Jeremy Meeks, the so-called “hot felon” who secured a modeling contract after his release from prison.
Some more seasoned prison abolitionists have raised concerns over DeMann’s Justice for Hot People project, asserting that true prison abolitionist thought maintains that incarceration is cruel and inhumane for all people—not just the hotties.
“People keep telling me to read Angela Davis, whoever that is,” said DeMann, rolling her eyes. “What people don’t understand is that when I found out my dad uses prison labor for his Fortune 500 company, I told him, ‘Dad, you can’t force hot people in prison to work for mere pennies. Hunks deserve better than that.’ If that’s not activism, I don’t know what is.”
This prison abolitionist has the hots for ted bundy!
